Change is never a comfortable time, but somehow I think we appreciate that in the long run.
Last week my decision to step down as worship director at the church I attend was made public. I haven’t had much feedback about that as yet but now its out there and its more real than ever before. Uncertainty is now my path as I wonder what God has for me next.
It’s hard to stay positive in uncertain times, I find myself dwelling on the things I wont get to do so much now, about how will I keep my skills up when I’m not using them all the time and the opportunities I feel I may miss.
But the toughest thoughts by far are the ones that tell me that maybe I’m being ‘shelved’, that all my talent, gifts and abilities are being put on the shelf and not being used for what they are intended. For someone that seeks to be actively engaged, making the most of every situation this is extremely distressing. This isn’t the first time in my life I’ve felt like this and I have learnt good lessons from past experiences, but that doesn’t make it any easier.
A good friend and mentor once said that God has every right to put me on the shelf if He sees fit… that is such a powerful statement and one that I really don’t like to accept as truth, even though it is. I acknowledge that my gifts, talents and abilities are gifts from God and as such He is well within His rights to do with them as He sees fit… doesn’t make it any less uncomfortable to live in uncertainty…