Samantha and I received the news we were waiting on yesterday and it wasn’t what we were hoping for. God has closed that particular door for us and to say we’re disappointed doesn’t really do it justice. It’s back to square one for us in seeking God and His direction for us as a family and to be honest it’s not a fun place to be in right now.
If you’re a regular reader you’ll know my passion is to live an authentic ‘real’ life before God and people. That’s the reason I started this blog, to help me share my passion with the world and to learn all I can from others about being authentic. I know that God is calling me to serve Him in a vocational way, I’m just not sure where that is or in what capacity yet.
Based on my assessment of my gifts and skills I would love it to be in a leadership/Pastoral role, preferably in worship/music and/or with teenagers and young adults. I have a heart to lead well, to lead people in God’s will for us and to serve them by teaching and building them up to serve God with their whole lives. So far things have been pretty quiet on the way forward…so I keep pushing on doors and waiting for God to lead me.
Recently all the doors have been closed on me, and while I know “God has a plan” and “it’s not His will” or “it’s not His timing” etc… it’s not very comforting at this moment in time. I’m disappointed and a bit frustrated and a little upset. I prayed for patience and, silly me, I think I expected God to teach it to me on my schedule, my timeline. According to me, I’ve waited long enough, according to God, I’m still behaving like a spoilt child wanting it all ‘now’ and He’s disciplining me for my own good.
Patience is hard, I’m really struggling with it right now and would love your help. What have you found helpful, what has God taught you about patience?