Patience the hard way #2

Samantha and I received the news we were waiting on yesterday and it wasn’t what we were hoping for. God has closed that particular door for us and to say we’re disappointed doesn’t really do it justice. It’s back to square one for us in seeking God and His direction for us as a family and to be honest it’s not a fun place to be in right now.

If you’re a regular reader you’ll know my passion is to live an authentic ‘real’ life before God and people. That’s the reason I started this blog, to help me share my passion with the world and to learn all I can from others about being authentic. I know that God is calling me to serve Him in a vocational way, I’m just not sure where that is or in what capacity yet.

Based on my assessment of my gifts and skills I would love it to be in a leadership/Pastoral role, preferably in worship/music and/or with teenagers and young adults. I have a heart to lead well, to lead people in God’s will for us and to serve them by teaching and building them up to serve God with their whole lives. So far things have been pretty quiet on the way forward…so I  keep pushing on doors and waiting for God to lead me.

Recently all the doors have been closed on me, and while I know “God has a plan” and “it’s not His will” or “it’s not His timing” etc… it’s not very comforting at this moment in time. I’m disappointed and a bit frustrated and a little upset. I prayed for patience and, silly me, I think I expected God to teach it to me on my schedule, my timeline. According to me, I’ve waited long enough, according to God, I’m still behaving like a spoilt child wanting it all ‘now’ and He’s disciplining me for my own good.

Patience is hard, I’m really struggling with it right now and would love your help.  What have you found helpful, what has God taught you about patience?

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6 Comments

Filed under About Me, Family, God Stuff, Worship

6 responses to “Patience the hard way #2

  1. Patience is a virtue in short supply. You have my sympathy. I am in the early stages of testing a vocation, and have no expectations of it being discerned as valid early. I wait for God’s will to be clear to others, not just myself, and at age 60, patience has become a necessity of life.

    I feel called to Ordained Ministry, but the path is long and hard and I am ill-equipped for it. I have loads to do, to even get to the first door.

    One thing I do have, is support from family, friends, my Vicar who is mentoring my preparation. But I can feel frustrated at what appears slow progress, while others say that I am forging ahead. I know someone who has been waiting for 6 years for her call to be recognised – she has now had the necessary call from the Church and is moving on quickly. She had great patience and fortitude, an example for me.

    When God’s will is clear for you – the door will open. I will be praying for your vocation.

    • Eddy

      Hi Ernest – thank you so much for sharing some of your life with me… it was a great encouragement! I’d love to hear more about your calling to vocational ministry and chat about waiting for God.

      I’ll be praying for patience and perseverance for the both of us… God has His ways, our job is to seek Him and walk in them, even when we feel like we’ve been left on the shelf. Patience is such a hard thing to learn

  2. Eddy,
    thanks for replying. My vocation is newish, as is my return to Christian Faith. God came back into my life last year in a big way. He made it obvious that he was there, I only had to respond. I did.

    This has turned my whole life around. Retirement plans are now obsolete – the call is so strong, that I cannot envisage doing anything else with the rest of my life.

    This transformation has consequences, for someone who was a declared agnostic for the last 25 years or so – it has been a revelation, to wife, family, friends, but who have all been supportive, if a little confused.

    My point is of course, it is never to late. God can and will make his presence known when he wants to – he called me, I answered. Now he calls me on, and I follow. Vocation is there, but must be discerned and evaluated as valid by the Church.

    I can only have patience and wait and see.

  3. Eddy

    Ernest your story brings joy to my heart… to hear how God has brought you back to Himself and they way you have obediently responded, it’s fantastic! God isnt finished with you yet… that is SO exciting!!

  4. Eddy, thanks for the vote of confidence. I am just so aware of things, it is also so hard to find the time, while I am still working (until August) to do more.
    I have just booked my first training, Pastoral Care, for 12 weeks from September. At the same time, I will be working within the Parish, shadowing Clergy, helping to plan and to deliver worship and a whole range of other things. I have also got to do some other part-time study at university in Canterbury. As well as completing a reading list, keep a journal and be prepared to articulate how God has worked and is working in my life in all contexts. This is preparation for a possible Bishops Selection Conference later next year.

    It is challenging, and somewhat daunting. I Pray daily for the strength to be all that God’s will is for me, but human weakness gets in the way sometimes.

    Behind all of this, the call is there – strong and clear, and I will not ignore it. I just feel that I wasted so many years, I cannot afford to waste any more.

  5. Pingback: Survival Guide: How to stay focused while waiting for God « My Authentic Life

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