The last few weeks have been a real challenge for our family. Time has passed as we have been in a haze fuelled by worry, concern, stress and a lack of sleep. It’s uncanny how when the proverbial hits the fan our first instinct is to circle the wagons and take matters into our own hands… a far cry from the creed we profess that God is our provider, that we trust Him in all things and wait on Him to deliver us. Makes me feel guilty and ashamed that I’m all too ready to take matters that I have entrusted to God back into my own hands.
It’s been over a month since my last post – in that time we have come to the brink in our finances and suffered a week of, frankly worrying, health issues. Couple that with being first time parents, learning to manage on one income and preparing for the birth of our second child, it’s been a difficult road. The time has come to reassess our circumstance, to look at what we do, have and want to do, and make changes.
We’re not adverse to this process; in fact it’s one I believe is necessary for a productive and purposeful life. My concern is that it’s all too easy for us to wait for a crisis to force us to change, rather than making evaluation and assessment an ongoing process in our lives. Sometimes circumstances are unavoidable; other times we have the opportunity to head them off if we’re prepared for them. Preparation is hard work, slipping into the comfort of routine is easy although often not beneficial.
This last week we reached our breaking point, we could do nothing but surrender our lives and circumstances (again) to God. We realised (again) that we had slipped back into our old, comfortable way of life, following our own paths and intentions and neglecting to seek God for His. This last month has been a wake up call from God – retrospect is a great teacher, as I now look back I can see the subtle signs of a patient and loving God trying to set us back on course. As it often happens, it took a crisis for us to get back on track with God – oh how I wish we had of noticed sooner, yet I thank God for His grace towards us.
God’s ways are higher than our ways, His love is wider and deeper and higher than we will ever know. Makes sense to follow Him. The Christian life is about dependence – trust and faith in a God who is the source of life, love, hope and provision. Jesus said:
I am the vine, you are the branches; he who abides in Me, and I in him, he bears much fruit; for apart from me you can do nothing John 15:5
How can we expect to live life to its fullest if we choose to disconnect from the source of Life? How sad that we so often think we’re better off on our own. Independence can be good for us but not when it separates us from God. Sadly I keep learning this the hard way.
It’s time for change in our life and family. It’s time to refocus our attention on the things that matter – on God and His will for our lives. It’s time to leave behind the false safety of our comforts, to stop relying on our own devices and to focus on God and His ultimate, unmeasurable wisdom. It’s time to once again seek God’s forgiveness and surrender our lives, our hopes, dreams and plans for the future to Him.
God we choose again to surrender to Your will, to seek Your face and to follow Your ways. Whatever may come we will trust in You for You are faithful.