Tag Archives: Encouragement

The Tithe Experiment – 1 Year On

This post is part of the Tithe Experiment series

Back in January 2010 Sam and I began our tithe experiment – it was an experiment that we felt God was calling us to, to tithe more and trust God to provide for our needs. Sounds a bit cliché but this was something we felt called to do and knew that God would teach us through the experience. Going into it we really had no expectations other than to be obedient and to allow God to work in our lives. The plan was to give as much as we could from our income and trust God to provide for our needs.

It’s now 1 year since we began and I’d like to share with you what God has taught us through the experience.

Right from the start this was an experiment and in any good experiment you must test and try different ideas in order to find the most effective and sustainable results. We found that our tithe experiment needed regular revision and adjustment.

Initially we decided to tithe as much as we could and to trust God for the rest. We found that this was sustainable for a while but that it led to a point where we were heading towards debt as a result. We felt that debt was not what God wanted for us so we adjusted our tithing to accommodate our new budget and our second child.

Through these adjustments God was making it clear that it was more important for us to maintain an attitude of generosity rather than attempt to stick rigidly to the “rules” we had set for ourselves. While it was good to put aside the tithe each fortnight we found that it wasn’t actually helping us to tithe “better”. For us, it simply became a cash reserve, another savings account that was saved for a rainy day or for an emergency. Sure it was excellent to have this account but it did very little in terms of helping us change our mindset towards our finances – and that’s our biggest lesson here.

We learnt that God didn’t want our “tithe” – the mandated 10% that we were required to set aside, what He wanted from us was to change our thinking to one of constant generosity towards whoever may need it at the time. The Book of Malachi spoke to us, God didn’t want our lip service and duty tithe, He wanted us to love Him and to love others and express that love through generosity.  For our family, we needed to be generous whenever the opportunity arose, to whomever that might be.

During the last year God has provided for us in ways we could never have imagined. Reading back over the posts on this blog I can see time and again a need we had and how God has met that need for us.

Let me be clear here though, we believe that we can never out give God, but we also believe that God is under no obligation to respond to our giving. We give because God first gave to us and calls us to love others and to be generous, not because we expect anything in return simply for being obedient. We found that often God gave back in ways that didn’t match our giving, i.e. not monetary or even in “goods” but with opportunities and relationships that have been exactly what we’ve needed.

The biggest lesson we’ve learnt is that God wants us to be generous at every opportunity rather than give because we have to. I’ve felt that the 10% tithe might be outdated or that it’s used as an excuse not to be generous, but these thoughts require more reflections, a future post perhaps ;).

God is faithful and forever generous and we have never lacked anything we have needed. We have had to wait upon God for our needs and often He has met them in ways we haven’t expected – there have been tough times (and continue to be) but we have seen God’s faithfulness and that deepens our trust in Him to provide in the future.  God is more interested in our attitude, than our time, money or our felt obligation to tithe.

We no longer have a ‘tithe’ account but are working hard to be more in tune with people’s needs and to respond quickly and generously when the opportunity arises (which we find is almost weekly). We feel this is the way God would have us live.

It’s been an interesting year for us and the journey of course doesn’t end here. Generosity is our focus for 2011, to give our money, time, talents or whatever else is needed, when it’s needed and as we have opportunity to do so

What do you think about tithing/giving? Is generosity the key or tithing or…?? Please share your thoughts with us.

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Simply say “Hello”

On a resent flight with my family I was walking my nearly two-and-a-half year old daughter down the aisle to our seats. These days we select to sit in the very last row of the plane in an attempt to not annoy too many passengers when the kids are restless. 

As we were boarding, Anabelle was leading the way down the aisle and as she did so she was making a point of saying hello to every person she passed. Aside from being super cute I found it interesting to watch the reactions of our fellow passengers as Anabelle said hello. The general reaction was one of complete shock and surprise that someone actually said hello to them on an airplane! 

I don’t know about you but for me it seems that the standard etiquette on an airplane is to sit down, face forward and try not to bother anyone else around you – which includes saying hello. Of course we usually give a smile and the occasional ‘hi’ to those we’re sharing a row with, but overall we don’t talk to each other, the rule seems to be quite clear that you keep to yourself. And that’s fair enough I guess. 

However it was great to see Anabelle shake this all up simply by being a happy child that wanted to greet her fellow passengers. There were one or two who gave her a huge smile and bent down to talk to her. There were those that simply ignored her with a bothersome look on their face (the kind that says “oh great a kid on the flight, they better not be noisy…”). And then there were those that were totally taken by surprise and had to double take, “did I really hear someone say hello to me?” and by the time they turned around to see who it was, Anabelle had moved on to greeting the next person down the aisle. 

 It’s amazing how one simple gesture in a situation where it’s unexpected can make such a difference… It made the plane a nicer place even if only for a moment and made me wonder when the last time was that I had done something to brighten someone else’s day. 

It’s the little things, the simple things, that can make all the difference – when was the last time you said ‘hello’ and brightened someone’s day?

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Keep it simple – lessons from my children

I love my children, they bring so much joy into my life, I am truly grateful for them and so blessed to be a father.

Anabelle and Levi amaze me everyday – sometimes it’s the big things like learning to use the “big toilet” but most often it’s the little things, the everyday things that if you weren’t looking for them you’d surely miss them.

Anabelle is becoming a little girl in every sense of the word. She’s taken to toilet training like a star (and the credit goes to Sam who’s doing an amazing job ‘training’ Anabelle) and we couldn’t be more proud. I know that talk of bodily functions isn’t very PC but all you parents out there know what a big step this is in a child’s development so thank’s for indulging me 🙂

It’s also the little things that amaze me with Anabelle, her outlook on life is a constant reminder for me to keep things simple. Children are often carefree and easy going, Anabelle certainly is. It melts my heart every time, out of the blue she will say “I love you daddy” or “I love you mummy” and “I love you Levi” followed by a hug and a kiss – such a reminder about the simple things in life!

Levi is growing in leaps and bounds – he’s such a happy child, smiling and waving and loving life. He’s already showing signs of being a social little guy, he loves it when the room is full of people and doesn’t like being left to himself. He loves his sister, he’ll follow her around the room with his eyes, smiling and squealing as she goes about her play. You can tell he’s itching to be able to crawl around after her – he’ll be three months on Nov 2nd so a little while to go before the real fun begins!

So keep life simple, remember the simple pleasures and always take the time to enjoy the little things because before we know it they’re gone.

Here are some photos of Levi and Anabelle – I LOVE these two! 🙂

Anabelle in the flowers

I LOVE Levi’s expression here so priceless!! Yes Anabelle is quite “loud”

Helping mum bake 🙂

Smiles all round

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Birthday Reflections

Last week I turned 31, I’m officially in my thirties now because, as I see it, the last year I was simply “thirty” 🙂

Each year around my birthday I like to take some time to reflect on the previous year, to remind myself of what’s happened in my life, to look at what I’ve learnt, achieved, failed at and where I’ve grown, learned new things and improved.

The last twelve months have been full of ups and downs – I’ve certainly learnt a lot about myself, my character and who I want to be and what I’ d like to be known for. I think the biggest insight over the last twelve months has been a redefining of who I want to be as a man, husband, father and follower of God. My life has been twisted, shaped, honed and reworked this last year; it’s been painful in places and joyful in others. Life is all about growth, we’re either moving forward or going backwards – there’s no standing still.

Some highlights from the last year include:

  • moving to a new work area and gaining a permanent promotion
  • growing as a father as I watched and ‘grew’ with my daughter
  • preparing to be a father for the second time – its really soon now August 2nd!
  • realising how little I know about life and that my greatest advances in knowledge always come as a result of my failures. Ironic but I love how it works!
  • That I need to watch what I say because my 2 year old picks up everything!
  • Going back to study, completing a unit and realising that I need to change focus slightly
  • Starting a Tithe Journey and learning a lot from God about how He wants us to manage our finances and our giving
  • Following a long held dream to launch a new business helping people build margin into their lives and pursue their dreams – more to come on this shortly
  • Learning that what defines me as a Christ-follower isn’t “where I go to church” but how committed I am to actively pursuing God with my entire life
  • Re-discovering that God wants me to be his witness no matter where I am – the opportunities He’s opened for me to minister at work have been truly amazing
  • Truly understanding Romans 8:28 in a fresh light “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.” Life hasn’t been peachy – far from it but in all the ups and downs, God is constant and I can see Him leading me and shaping my life through the good and the bad – Amazing!

One of the highlights of my birthday was a card I got from my brother Dan. Growing up as kids we were never into the same things but as we’ve become adults the bond between us has gone from strength to strength and I love him dearly.

Dan has a great sense of humour and his card to me is a great example. It was your average birthday card for a guy, with planes and cards on the front and a nice birthday verse inside. However Dan had decided that I needed an extra piece of advice, some wisdom from someone older and wiser than the both of us:

“It’s not easy to juggle a pregnant wife and a young child, but somehow I still managed to fit in eight hours of TV a day” 

Do you make regular time to look back over the past year and learn from it? What have you learnt about yourself in the past year?

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A Battle of Wills

As a parent I know there are times when I have to stick to my guns, hold the line and not back down because, in the end, it will be better for my child – but sometimes it’s really hard!

About two weeks ago my wife and I decided it was time to transition our daughter, who’s nearly two, from her cot to her “big girl” bed.

With our second child due in August and after doing some research we decided that we needed to make the transition now so our daughter had time to adjust before number two arrived. To our surprise she took to the bed immediately, she loved it and didn’t think twice about the cot – awesome we both thought!

Of course being in a bed means she has more freedom to get up and out of bed when she feels like it. During the day this isn’t really a problem but the last few nights have been interesting. The first few nights she slept right through until 6:30am which for us is a sleep in given she usually wakes about 5:30am.

However the last two nights she’s felt the need to wake and come visit us at 4am proudly stating that it is now time to “play”. As you can imagine this is not greatly appreciated!

It’s been my task to take her back to bed as the tears begin to fall and she protests about going back to sleep. After about an hour or so of repeated trips to our room followed by immediate trips back to her bed with tears and cries in between, so far, she’s gone back to sleep.

We’re firm believers that repetition is the key to instilling learned behaviours in our daughter which is why we promptly take her back to her bed until she gets the message to stay there. We’ve even put a clock in her room and are teaching her that until it displays a six in the hour column it’s not time to get up (she already knows her numbers so she does understand what we mean). 

I wouldn’t say our daughter is particularly strong willed, she’s more than open to reasoning (even at this young age) but of course we need to remember how young she is and that we cant expect too much from her.

Nevertheless it’s a difficult battle of wills and as a parent it’s even more difficult to remember patience at 4am in the morning! We’re hoping that it doesn’t take too long for her to learn that night time is for sleeping not playing.

How about you, do you have an experience to share or any tips for teaching your child to stay in bed and sleep until a suitable time to wake up? I’d love to hear them!

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Crisis, stress, lessons learnt

The last few weeks have been a real challenge for our family. Time has passed as we have been in a haze fuelled by worry, concern, stress and a lack of sleep. It’s uncanny how when the proverbial hits the fan our first instinct is to circle the wagons and take matters into our own hands… a far cry from the creed we profess that God is our provider, that we trust Him in all things and wait on Him to deliver us. Makes me feel guilty and ashamed that I’m all too ready to take matters that I have entrusted to God back into my own hands.

It’s been over a month since my last post – in that time we have come to the brink in our finances and suffered a week of, frankly worrying, health issues. Couple that with being first time parents, learning to manage on one income and preparing for the birth of our second child, it’s been a difficult road. The time has come to reassess our circumstance, to look at what we do, have and want to do, and make changes. 

We’re not adverse to this process; in fact it’s one I believe is necessary for a productive and purposeful life. My concern is that it’s all too easy for us to wait for a crisis to force us to change, rather than making evaluation and assessment an ongoing process in our lives. Sometimes circumstances are unavoidable; other times we have the opportunity to head them off if we’re prepared for them. Preparation is hard work, slipping into the comfort of routine is easy although often not beneficial. 

This last week we reached our breaking point, we could do nothing but surrender our lives and circumstances (again) to God. We realised (again) that we had slipped back into our old, comfortable way of life, following our own paths and intentions and neglecting to seek God for His. This last month has been a wake up call from God – retrospect is a great teacher, as I now look back I can see the subtle signs of a patient and loving God trying to set us back on course. As it often happens, it took a crisis for us to get back on track with God – oh how I wish we had of noticed sooner, yet I thank God for His grace towards us. 

God’s ways are higher than our ways, His love is wider and deeper and higher than we will ever know. Makes sense to follow Him. The Christian life is about dependence – trust and faith in a God who is the source of life, love, hope and provision. Jesus said:

I am the vine, you are the branches; he who abides in Me, and I in him, he bears much fruit; for apart from me you can do nothing John 15:5 

How can we expect to live life to its fullest if we choose to disconnect from the source of Life? How sad that we so often think we’re better off on our own. Independence can be good for us but not when it separates us from God. Sadly I keep learning this the hard way. 

It’s time for change in our life and family. It’s time to refocus our attention on the things that matter – on God and His will for our lives. It’s time to leave behind the false safety of our comforts, to stop relying on our own devices and to focus on God and His ultimate, unmeasurable wisdom. It’s time to once again seek God’s forgiveness and surrender our lives, our hopes, dreams and plans for the future to Him. 

God we choose again to surrender to Your will, to seek Your face and to follow Your ways. Whatever may come we will trust in You for You are faithful. 

How about you, when have you learnt to trust in God?

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Building Young Leaders…part 2

This is a continuation of Building Young Leaders which you can read here.

I spent nearly ten years serving in youth ministry

both within the church and with para-church organisations in my city. In that time I’ve had the privilege to work alongside and mentor some amazing young people on leadership and ministry.

Due to the circumstances, each opportunity was an apprenticeship. Very few of them were formal arrangements, simply an agreement between them and I to spend time intentionally focusing on leadership and ministry development. We simply lived life together and focused on the tasks at hand. In some cases it was a limited activity (such as a camp) and others it was for a year or more as we led a ministry (such as a youth ministry or school based program).

As I reflect, I find that

these were some of the most influential times in my life.

I’ll admit that it was great to have extra pairs of hands around to help with the work, people to bounce ideas off and glean insights into the minds and attitudes of young people. However it was also a very revealing time about who I am as a person. I was sharing my life with these young people, they got to see me in the good times and the bad (like 3am fourth day in of a five day camp where everyone got a stomach flu!). Overall though, this was a positive experience as they got to see that a pastor is human just like everyone else and we all leant valuable life lessons about self-control, self-sacrifice and service.

I also learnt how to manage people and to work efficiently and effectively.

We’ve all heard the phrase “if you want something done right you better do it yourself” and in most cases it’s fairly true. However this attitude is completely useless when working with ministry apprentices because how are they going to learn if they never get to try? Just like my pastor let me try my ideas and helped me if/when they failed, I too had to learn how to do the same. It wasn’t easy at first but after time I learnt how to watch from a distance while still making sure they (and the project/program) was still ok.

The results spoke for themselves.

The programs and ministries blossomed under the extra attention and input they received. The young people grew quickly in ability, leadership, belief in themselves and their knowledge and relationship with God. I too learnt and grew immeasurably. Apart from the practicalities of leadership, management and mentoring, my relationship with God grew as I was ministered to by these young lives.

Ten years down the track I look back at those times with fond memories. Some of those young people have gone on to become pastors, others are involved in leading ministries in their local churches and some are even leading others in far off countries.

If I had my time over I wouldn’t change a thing.

Mentoring young leaders, taking them through an apprentice’s journey has been a highlight of my life that I will not soon forget.

In a nutshell here’s a list of things I have learnt from apprenticing young leaders:

It kept me humble. There’s nothing like having another person living life with you to help you realise that you simply don’t have it all together as much as you think.

It kept me accountable. I made a commitment to mentor these young leaders and I had a responsibility to see that through. There was no way I wanted to give them the impression that I only wanted them around to help me with my work, I was there to build into their lives because they are important, regardless of how much they might have helped me out!

It made me think about the important. Time and opportunities to build into their lives was limited. I needed to know what the “must haves” were and make sure they were passed on.

It fired me up! There was no way I couldn’t be excited by being around all the enthusiasm young people have. Their optimistic outlook on life is infectious and it fueled my passion and drive daily.

I learnt to trust others, to delegate and to keep people accountable. These were three vital keys I learnt. I had to trust others with programs, people and tasks. I learnt how to delegate and then how to help them learn accountability. These are key skills every leader must have and ones that need to be passed on.

It freed me to focus on other tasks. Put simply, with tasks delegated we got more things done. Sure I needed to keep an eye on what was going on but by establishing trust and accountability, I knew that things were getting done. I was able to focus on things that only I could do.

I learnt how to relate to people on a deeper level. There’s something amazing about sharing life with others this way that brings you to a deeper level of relationship. Trust is stronger, shared vision is deep and sense of ownership is shared. It’s synergy – the whole is greater than the sum of its parts – and it’s amazing!

I saw the fruit. Right there and then in each young person I saw God grow fruit in their lives. I saw them learn and grow, stretch themselves and rely totally on God to provide for them. I saw both their knowledge of God and their skills develop, and the blessing that was to the ministries and to the people they served.

I would do it again in a heartbeat. I don’t know what’s in my future, whether I’ll be in a formal ministry position anytime soon but I know that what God has already taught me is applicable to every area of my life. I pray that God will allow me to continue to build others up to be the men and women He has called them to be regardless of where I am or what I’m doing.

So how about you? Do you think its worth rethinking how we build young leaders in today’s church?

I’d love to hear your thoughts/questions/comments 🙂

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